Lighthouses

The Michigan waters and shorelines are littered with lighthouses. Thankfully, there are a few left along the reefs and coasts of Florida as well. The mystery and wonder that they encapsulate has always intrigued my thoughts. What must have it been like for those hearty keepers who lived such a solitary existence? When their duties were done, how did they pass the time? Did they select such a life because of their temperment or was it a choice of economics? I wonder if I would have been suited for life as a lighthouse keeper...maybe.



“Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Teetering

I'm still teetering at that edge of that awful precipice...the one where if you step over the ledge your life will be forever altered...in a terrible way that you never anticipated, wanted or would wish on anyone. Without going into the details (created from both my overactice imagination and a series of unfortunate events that did create the very real possibility), I thought I had lost him. Or that something monumentally awful had taken place and he was horribly hurt without me there to comfort or help him. Catching a glimpse of that horrifying abyss shook me. Because to simply say that he is the most magnificent father, my best friend in the entire universe and an amazing son feels like I'm not fully conveying all that he is to me and those in his life. So, I'm not going to dwell on those little things that make me want to scream (toenails on the coffee table for one) and remind myself of that empty, shaky feeling from two nights' past because it confirms how very lucky I really am.

Florida Summer

I've finally learned to embrace the Florida summer. In all honesty, it's taken just about two decades to get to this point. Because for years I've fought loving it. A small part of me believed that I was somehow being unfaithful to the Michigan summers of my childhood...because they were truly fabulous...going barefoot in the silky grass, swimming for hours in the cool depths of the Black river, riding my trusty orange Schwinn ten-speed for miles on end alongside fields of wildflowers...I loved it all.

Now, through the eyes of my children (and my own inner child), I can truly wrap my arms around the bliss that is a Florida summer. I've discovered that regardless of the sometimes stifling heat, I'm often surprised by the rush of a sudden breeze that rustles the palms. I've come to relish with absolute awe a lightning-filled sky while wasting away a rain-soaked afternoon reading. Or wandering along the shoreline of the gulf feeling the powdery sand between my toes as the sun dips below the horizon and the relief of dusk descends. I love how Alissa has taught me to treasure the sensation of settling into the arms of my sky blue beach chair and to focus on the steady rhythym of the waves washing over the coquinas...again and again....knowing the water awaits when I need a plunge. And I really, really do love a Florida summer.

Liliana

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." ~Raymond Lindquist



Stepping off the bus on Friday evening, a diminuitive Spanish girl bravely strode through the throngs of Spanish, Russian, French and Chinese students, American parents and their anxious children, and placed two soft kisses on either side of my cheeks. Barely able to utter the words, "nice to meet you" in her thickly accented voice, her demeanor humbled me. Only sixteen years old and halfway around the world embarking on the adventure of a lifetime without the comfort and familiarity of her own parents to guide her, but, instead, surrounded by strangers...who speak a foreign tongue and follow customs so different from her own...our Liliana. Her courageous grin remained slightly subdued, but firmly placed...and I was astounded by her instantly. And I had just met her. Welcome...to our country, home and family, Liliana.

a little bit of dinner, surprises and fishing!

I was warned...when she was only minutes old. "This one is going to be feisty!" And the delivery nurse's prophecy has been realized time and time again during her sixteen years on earth. Now, that feistiness has been channelled and transformed into a tenacity and drive that leaves me both speechless and proud. She holds a standard for others that is often difficult to attain and maintain, but, as a result, has developed friendships and relationships that are true and real.

So, for weeks on end I planned her birthday so it would be memorable yet meaningful, exciting and touching simultaneously...she tells me I succeeded. I sure hope so...because she is worth every anxiety-filled moment I spent planning, each painstaking keystoke struck in creating her oh so special photo book, and every confused message texted to her friends (try planning a bunch of surprises with 16 and 17 year olds who change their minds hourly!!).

Happy Sweet Sixteen baby girl! 658.

Crab Bisque, presents, best friends and phenomenal music at Tommy Bahamas.



A surprise fishing trip with her best buddies!

let the celebrations begin

she's loved. and yesterday it was obvious in the way in which her family joined together to celebrate her first sixteen years. her momma cried. her daddy smiled proudly. her sister bopped her in the head with a balloon. her bagga told the story of her first day. her auntie di pulled off the most creative present ever. her cousins hand decorated her card. her aunt jenn read her mind by selecting the perfect gift. her uncle teased and tried to steal her garlic bread. her grandma fussed and hovered. it was sheer magnificence. and boy is she loved.

(more later.)

Just do it!

Dragging myself out of my cozy bed this morning was pure torture. The quiet of the house was so welcoming, begging me to return to my slumber. But, the puppy was whining to be released from her doggie prison forcing me to stay up. Yet, after letting the pups out for their morning business, I still wasn't convinced that it was the best morning for a ride...it was pretty darned humid and the wind was picking up. At that moment I heard a little whisper encouraging me to just go...jump in the saddle for just a few miles. So, I listened. And like every single time that I climb on that darned bike, I am in heaven. Thirty-five miles later I felt emotionally recharged, happily fatigued and ready to really face the day!


"Think of bicycles as rideable art that can just about save the world." ~Grant Petersen

"Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia." ~H.G. Wells

"It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle." ~Ernest Hemingway

"Melancholy is incompatible with bicycling." ~James E. Starrs

"The bicycle, the bicycle surely, should always be the vehicle of novelists and poets." ~Christopher Morley

...and there were flamingos

There's a bird that is synonymous with Florida. But, alas, other than when visiting Busch Gardens these bubble gum pink birdies are difficult, if not impossible, to spot. I'm not even sure Florida is their habitat...because I've never, ever seen one anywhere! And I've looked!





Late one night not so long ago, there was a mysterious ring of the doorbell at 11 p.m. After briefly arguing over who was going to answer the summons to the door, Steven (he lost the argument) discovered our yard, trees and bushes littered with these crazy characters. Later we found out we had been "flocked" in an effort to raise funds for young life's summer camp program. They can flock us anytime!



"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk." ~ Jack Handey

on music

i love all music. seriously. even banjo music. i think my playlists reflect that fact. i know it has a lot to do with my dad. growing up in my home the turntable was always spinning something. the clash. warren zevon. queen. the cars. elvis costello. the rolling stones. b.b. king. squeeze. lou reed. stuff that was popular. stuff that was obscure. stuff that was bizzare. stuff that was interesting. if i close my eyes i can still see those huge black speakers in each corner of our living room. when i think back to those moments i can still feel the floor pulsate from the bass. and it was magic. and he was sooooo cool.